Do you ever feel like your mind has— ahem — a mind of its own? If so, you’re not alone. Many people, maybe most, sometimes find themselves unintentionally having thoughts that seem to creep in out of the blue. In addition, they may find themselves thinking basically the same thing over and over. This can happen in the middle of the night when someone is having trouble sleeping. But it can also happen in the middle of the day when they’re wide awake. What’s going on here?
Mark Travers, Ph.D., writing for Forbes.com, has a name for it: “Overthinking is the habit of excessively analyzing, dwelling on or worrying about situations, decisions or events, often leading to feelings of stress and anxiety. You might find yourself replaying past conversations, thinking about how you could have said something differently, or imagining future scenarios that may never happen.”
He puts his finger on the problem when he cites the possible result of overthinking stress and anxiety. In the middle of the night, that anxiety prevents you from getting back to sleep or has you tossing and turning with a troubled sleep the rest of the night. Worse yet, the stress caused by overthinking can actually be more of a problem than whatever it is you’re stressing about.
Meditating is a proven way to quiet your mind. Many people set aside a set period of time each day — it can be as little as five or 10 minutes — to clear their mind and take control of their thoughts. Beyond this simple technique, Travers offers two more ways to resist overthinking.
“Caught An Intrusive Thought? Pause, Don’t Panic.” If you’ve been struggling with an issue, anything from financial concerns to conflict with your romantic partner, a random thought about the problem can appear when you’re trying to concentrate on something else. Some people are able to compartmentalize well and never lose focus. But these people are the exception. Most everyone else can benefit from a technique Travers suggests: “A simple yet effective strategy is to set aside 5-10 minutes each morning, or whenever intrusive thoughts arise, to write down anything that might cause worry or overthinking. This allows you to release those thoughts and analyze them later with a clearer mind. “
Simply describing your concerns may help you realize you’re blowing the issue out of proportion. Or, at the very least, you may be able to more objectively analyze the problem and see some possible solutions. In any case it will probably help you refocus on the task at hand, knowing you’re prepared to deal with the other issue at a later, more convenient time. That strategy also leads to the next step in controlling overthinking.
“Analyzing And Challenging Your Thoughts.” After you’ve described a problem in writing, you’re ready to analyze it. The first step is similar to dealing with any vague emotion that is leading to anxiety — that is, name the feeling or, in this case, name the type of thinking you’re experiencing. Travers suggests that overthinking can fall into three general categories and offers a strategy for dealing with each.
- “Catastrophic thinking.“ Simply imagining that the worst scenario will play out.
- “Fear of rejection.“ Or more broadly a fear of failure.
- “Overgeneralization.“ Something bad may have indeed happened but it doesn’t follow that this is what always happens.
To deal with these patterns of thinking, Travers then suggests you fight back. “When negative or anxious thoughts arise, challenge them. Ask yourself if the scenarios you’re imagining are realistic or if you’re blowing things out of proportion. Reframing your thoughts can help you see situations more clearly and prevent unnecessary worry.”
Reframing the thought is key. Restate what the problem is and why you’re worried about it. Is there a genuine reason to worry? Keep digging and you’ll very likely find that there is a different and more rational way to perceive the issue. Now you’re well on your way to regaining control of your thoughts — and enjoying real peace of mind.