Reaching a turning point in life is almost always a combination of exhilaration and anxiety. You know there are going to be consequences to whatever decision you make and you want to make sure you get it right. That’s why many people, when confronting an obvious major lifetime decision, take their time and mull over their options. They might make a list of pros and cons. Or simply imagine what life will be like traveling two distinctly different paths. Or talk to trusted family and friends. In any case, whether it’s deciding upon anything from a career path to the decision to get married, you probably take your time and really think about it. Maybe days or even weeks.
In everyday life that process of slowly and methodically weighing your options is rarely possible. There is well-known research indicating that we typically make up to a mind-numbing 35,000 decisions per day. Of course most of those decisions are unconscious… whether to reach for a cup of coffee or glance out the window. But in your average workday those decisions are anything but automatic. Managers and leaders in particular are constantly required to choose between options and do so quickly. That’s why it’s good to understand the decision-making process and learn what you can do to help you make good decisions almost without thinking.
If you’re generally satisfied with the decisions you make on a daily basis, it may be that you have consciously or unconsciously aligned your actions and the consequences of your actions with a number of interrelated psychological factors. Fay Niewiadomski points this out in an article for Fastcompany.com. “Our decisions,” she writes, “are deeply rooted in our values, competence, courage, and compassion. The psychological context from which decisions flow includes our emotional intelligence, comfort zone, values, moods, needs, decision-making style, and crucially, our self-awareness.”
That final point deserves special attention because self-awareness is essential, allowing us to see ourselves basically as others see us. It’s our anchor to a shared reality. It also helps us take full responsibility for our actions. The result of a decision we make is not determined by some outside force. Success and failure are ours. Yes, outside influences affect events but a good leader in particular takes these influences into account as part of the decision-making process.
A person who is self-aware, says Niewiadomski, may especially benefit from understanding the role of the three C’s:, competence, courage and compassion.
Competence. Whatever a person’s role in an organization, competence consists of using their knowledge and experience to make decisions and take action. The more responsibility a person has, the more they should recognize that they need and are part of a team of people with complementary knowledge and experience, even if they are leading the team.
Courage. Aristotle may have been the first to point out that courage was the human quality that is required to make all other virtues possible. This is especially true when a leader needs to make a decision they know will be unpopular. After making a decision, a good leader will then try to objectively evaluate the results of their decision. Niewiadomski offers a set of questions that provides an excellent road map for doing exactly that:
- “What did you focus on? But what did you miss?”
- “What did it mean? How was your interpretation distorted by your assumptions?”
- “What did you do? What action did you not take?”
Compassion. People are not robots. So even though we might hope that others’ decisions are based solely on objective analysis of facts, the reality is that people often make decisions based at least in part on their emotions. Seeking to understand what has driven others will help our own decision-making process. As Niewiadomski sums it up, “We do not have to agree or disagree with them. Understanding others enriches and expands our range and depth of experience. It does not threaten our existence. Compassion is not pity. It is a recognition of what makes us human.”