Acting intuitively is something that almost everyone does, especially in certain situations. Take meeting a new person at work, for example. Or approaching someone you don’t know at a cocktail party. Or greeting someone on the patio after a worship service. Most people instinctively open a conversation with a question, even a commonplace one such as: Hi, how are you? A simple question, small talk, is the beginning of a conversation that often and sometimes surprisingly quickly becomes genuine and meaningful.

In your professional life this straightforward approach can be quite valuable, especially at more structured events. Meeting people at a professional event is the ideal time to build relationships through networking.  Successful networking, though, requires a bit of thoughtful planning. It’s great that you probably intuitively kick off a conversation with a question. But the quality of your questions matters. In addition, the goals you set for yourself through questioning can guide you to the subject matter of your questions.

Because networking is a combination of science and art, there has been much written about networking techniques. Diksha Mehta, for example, writing for Success.com, begins her discussion about networking by saying, “Approaching events with the right mindset and clear intentions can be the key to networking more efficiently. Focus on quality over quantity, targeting a few meaningful conversations rather than meeting everyone… Ask open-ended questions like, ‘What’s the most exciting project you’re working on?’ or ‘What industry challenges are you tackling?’ These questions encourage engaging dialogue, while active listening demonstrates interest and builds rapport.”

Some people will find this exercise easy and maybe even exciting. Other people, however, especially people who are more introverted, may find the prospect of chatting with a stranger to be overwhelming. No problem, people who are introverted have the chance to play to their strengths. Mehta offers three tips for these people in particular:

• “Stick to one-on-one chats: Small talks feel easier than navigating large groups, letting you build deeper connections and have meaningful conversations.”
• “Prepare a few questions: Have two or three questions ready, like, ‘What inspired your career path?’ or ‘What do you like best about the events you attend?’ Using this strategy can help boost your confidence and help you start an engaging conversation.”
• “Listen actively: Paying close attention to others’ answers with focus and interest builds strong, meaningful bonds, helping you create lasting professional relationships that endure over time.”

Before you start asking questions, though, it’s important to introduce yourself properly, and that means succinctly. You’ll lose a person’s attention if you start describing your background in depth. Simply introduce yourself by name and by your title or role and maybe add a short sentence describing what that role is. More than likely the person you’re talking to will introduce themself and maybe give you similar information. In any case, be ready with a natural follow-up question, something like, Have you been to this event before?

The same guidelines for interpersonal relationships apply to building a networking relationship. Use body language to signify you’re listening attentively, maintaining eye contact, smiling and perhaps nodding in agreement. It’s okay to offer compliments if they’re genuine, such as, Wow that sounds interesting. Most people, of course, want to meet several people at an event, so be ready to move on without belaboring the conversation. Then, very importantly, follow up! That conversation was only the beginning of your professional relationship. Reach out and thank the person for their time. Follow-up meetings will follow from there if it’s a relationship that can be mutually beneficial.

Mehta nicely sums up her advice for networking by saying, “Leaving a lasting impact at networking events comes from planning ahead, talking confidently and keeping in contact once the event has concluded. Anyone can learn how to stand out at networking events by setting clear goals, making genuine connections and following up thoughtfully.”

That’s good advice and it’s important to remember that questions lay the foundation for a valuable conversation. For more on that topic, see our previous blog “Great Conversations Begin With Questions.”