Marriage Counseling Insights brought to you by California Psychotherapeutic Resources, Inc.
As many people in a long-term relationship can attest, it’s more difficult to be happy individually if you and your partner are at odds with each other. A logical question, then, follows: Is there a way to build a solid foundation in a relationship and then strengthen it with every passing year, giving you a better chance of being happy overall?
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, writing for Symbis.com, emphatically say that there is. “In healthy marriages, there’s one important thing that spouses consistently seek. This perspective positively impacts the tone of every interaction in their relationship. When a couple pursues this in their marriage, it can make a tremendous difference in their dynamic over the years. So what are these healthy couples doing to help keep their marriages happy and harmonious? They’re consistently looking for the good in one another.”
It’s a simple but profound insight, and it has a related aspect to it.
Look For The Good In One Another This helps prevent unnecessary bickering and ultimately leads to a more harmonious relationship. And if you make it a habit, say Drs. Les and Leslie, it leads to another wonderful discovery: “The beautiful thing about looking for the good in your spouse is that the more good you seek, the more good you will find. Good compounds. That means as you invest more time and effort into identifying your spouse’s good qualities, you’ll notice more and more over time.”
Avoid Jumping To Negative Conclusions This is a tendency that seems to emerge when we’re jumping to conclusions about our partner’s intentions. If you’ve made it a habit to look for the good in your partner, then it will likely rub off when you consciously or unconsciously assume you know their intentions. “Take a moment to consider what their best intentions might have been, and try to see the situation from that perspective before you make any assumptions.”