Yes, for many people this really is the most wonderful time of the year. But, as with so many wonderful things, there is a cost associated with them. With the holidays that cost is measured in stress, and that stress is multiplied because those days of celebration come with hard deadlines — those calendar dates are written in stone.

Fortunately, there are proven and simple ways to reduce that stress. Writing for UC Davis Health, Lisa Howard presented some simple wisdom from the neuropsychologists at the university, a lot of that advice rooted in common sense. Tips include:

“Manage holiday expectations.” A time-tested method of understanding your anger goes something like this: A person or an event failing to live up to your expectations (whether or not you have expressed or even understood your expectations) leads to frustration, which engenders anger. That’s why this little bit of advice is so valuable. Have a little talk with yourself about what you’re expecting of the holidays. Are your expectations realistic? If you grew up with an intact nuclear family and your family is now split up (for whatever reason), are you subconsciously judging your celebration against an ideal that literally does not exist? Set your expectations based on reality.

“Check in with yourself.” A funny thing about stress is that it sometimes slowly simmers and builds until it unexpectedly reaches the boiling point. One way to avoid that is to simply step back for regular self-assessments. A little stress is okay, but if you feel it rising then it’s time to take a break. As Howard writes, “The idea is to develop self-awareness so people can engage in self-care before reaching an emotional breaking (or boiling) point.”

“Have a plan.” Ok, so you’re feeling the stress rising and know it’s time for a break. What kind of a break is in order? Well, that’s up to you. Do whatever you do when you want to relax. “It could be calling a friend,” Howard says, “walking, turning on music, reading, or watching your favorite TV show. The activity is as individual as you are.”

“Breathe.” There’s a good reason that techniques of meditation and many yoga exercises begin with the simple act of breathing: it’s a proven way to relax and focus the mind. When you start to feel stressed out, simply stop for a few moments and take a few deep breaths.

“Share the happy memories.” The older we get the more likely we are to have family and friends who have passed away. Grieving their loss is natural and healthy, and grief often appears around the holidays. Rather than ignoring any sadness associated with their loss, acknowledge and honor your feelings and then call up some fond memories. Share a story or two with a friend or your family. Although grief differs from stress, it can exacerbate it. Manage your grief and you’re less likely to let stress overwhelm you.

Looking for some more tips on de-stressing around the holidays? See Timely Tips For Dealing With Holiday Stress. Then, enjoy the beauty of the season!