Wow, how did we let Christmas and Hanukkah get so chaotic? This is a season of celebration. But sometimes it can be overwhelming. Presents. House guests. Meals to prepare. Holiday cards. Frantic trips to the airport. A frighteningly large credit card bill on the horizon. Can’t we get away from it all somehow?
Okay, we all know that holiday stress can hardly be avoided. So a better question might be, “How can we deal with the stress?” Writing for Healthline, Mandy French has a interesting idea: an “invisible day.” “While the idea of an invisible day has been around for a while,” she says, “the term is relatively new. An invisible day is a day to unplug, rather than distancing yourself from friends, family, or nonnegotiable obligations, such as parenting or work.” With the increased intrusion of social media, not to mention texts and spam phone calls, it’s no wonder that unplugging seems like such a reasonable proposal. “The idea behind an invisible day is to go completely ‘off grid’ for up to 24 hours,” French writes. “This means that no one can reach you unless it’s an emergency, and you don’t need to respond to anyone during your pause unless absolutely necessary. You simply ‘disappear’ for a day.”
Think an invisible day is a good idea? You won’t get an pushback from psychologists. The benefits of going off-grid are pretty straightforward. You simply give your mind a chance to refresh and not deal with any kind of information overload. If a whole day unplugged isn’t practical for you, don’t dismiss the idea entirely. Any kind of break is better than none. Plan on unplugging for two or three hours and see how it feels. You may rediscover how nice a little peace and quiet is.
Still, an invisible day may not be right for everyone. That’s okay. There are plenty of other ways to cope with holiday stress. Good advice comes from Georgetown University’s Center for Psychiatric Service Skills Toolbox, including the following tips.
“Prepare for the holidays so you can be responsive rather than reactionary.” Some people make a habit of this by constantly thinking of presents for family members throughout the year. But if that isn’t your style you can still prepare by doing something as straightforward and creating a timeline for everything that needs to be done. This will encourage you to be realistic about dedicating enough time to all the things that are part of your celebration of the season and not rush everything at the end.
“Manage your expectations because nothing is perfect.” Maybe you have an idealized memory of holiday celebrations when you were a kid. That’s okay, but don’t demand that this year’s celebration will live up to that memory. Situations change and it’s almost certain that family relationships are different than they were when you were young. A tip from Georgetown University bears keeping in mind: “Good enough is good enough.”
“Reframe your stress so you don’t get weighed down by what you’ll handle in the future.” In this case, “reframing” means taking one day (or one week) at a time. The holiday period comes and goes quickly, so just focus on the season and not worry about challenges or duties down the line.
“Consider your priorities before engaging in conflict with loved ones.” It’s become a stereotypical joke about having to deal with a cranky and opinionated old Uncle at Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, there’s a grain of truth in the humor. Conflicts with family about anything from politics to social issues can ruin an otherwise wonderful holiday dinner. The answer is to simply focus on positive shared memories and the love family members feel for one another.
“Remember anger hurts you ‘first and more.’” This old saying has been around in various forms from the time of the Greek philosophers. It’s stood the test of time because it’s true. A good way to apply this bit of wisdom is to consciously think about taking a deep breath before responding to something that someone says or does that upsets you. If it’s really upsetting then it might be worthwhile to reflect on why it disturbs you so much. Or, given that the holidays are raising everyone’s stress level, maybe just give the offending person a little leeway and let it go.
Then get back to enjoying family and friends and the spirit of the season.