CALIFORNIA PSYCHOTHERAPEUTIC RESOURCES, INC.
PATRICIA MCTAGUE-LOFT, MS, LMFT, FAPA, SAP
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Posted on: March 19, 2021
Marriage Counseling Insights brought to you by California Psychotherapeutic Resources, Inc.
Years ago a phrase came into popular use: Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus. It actually came from a book by the same name, and it taps into a common sense observation that men and women often think differently about some things.
But there’s one thing men and women can think about in identical terms: clear communication. Some couples have learned that simply saying what you mean or want helps avoid conflict and arguments.
Brittany Wong, writing for the Huffington Post website, points out how valuable this trait can be by telling a story about how a “Seattle-based couple stumbled upon what most marriage therapists would probably call conflict resolution gold. ‘My wife and I,’ says the husband in Wong’s story, “got into the habit of asking each other, “Do you want comfort or solutions’ when the other was having a bad time.”
The result? “That one sentence can save us from an argument 9/10 times,” says the husband.
Gaining that bit of marital wisdom didn’t come overnight. For years, the couple would “go round and round in circles, treading and re-treading over the same points, tossing the same phrases around with more and more anger and defensiveness ― mostly, I think, because we weren’t sure what the other person wanted,” he explained.
So, here’s something you might want to try. If you’re not sure what your partner expects or wants, ask!
If you’d like to hear the full story, you can read all about it here.
Posted in: Marriage Counseling